Fallen: An Angel Romance Read online

  “The Light enacts judgment on each soul it touches. If there’s no possibility of redemption and the soul is utterly consumed by the Darkness, then a powerful enough blast of Light can remove those souls from the Earth.”

  Hearing him confirm her suspicions evoked a strange reaction within Zara. She’d killed a handful of men. It was a lot to accept. But if she hadn’t, they would have killed Alex, and who knows what would have happened to her? She regretted the necessity, but would she do anything different if she had to go back and do it again?

  No. No, I did what I had to do.

  It might catch up to her later, once she had sleep and more distance between her and the brutal assault Alex had suffered, but she was glad those men were no longer around to threaten anyone else. If she’d had to see their bodies after she’d killed them, it might have hit her harder. She could pretend that it was like a game without real consequences, at least for now

  “So does this make me a Light mage, then?”

  Alex frowned. “You can perform Light magic, so that would make you a Light mage. There are still a few things I don’t understand. I must ask a friend of mine if he has answers.”

  There was the question of who and what Alex was. Had he really just chased away her attackers that first night? Or had he taken care of them the same way she’d used the Light on the men tonight? And what happened to those strange, monstrous dogs?

  “Alex, are you a Light mage?”

  He shook his head quickly, as if he’d been expecting the question. “If I could use magic the way you can, then I wouldn’t have gotten beat up trying to defend us tonight. I’m just an ally, someone who knows about magic and is trying to help.”

  It was hard to argue with that logic.

  Her head dropped to his shoulder. There was so much to process. And now that she’d had at least a few of her questions answered, the exhaustion had stormed back and overtaken her. She was so tired of running.

  Alex held Zara as she rested her head on his shoulder.

  A host of unfamiliar emotions surged through him at her closeness. Was this part of being a mortal? Had he just never been this close to a female human before? Or was it her and the strange intensity behind her sapphire eyes?

  He wanted to protect her and keep her safe, but so much more than that. His mortal body was intoxicated by her nearness, drunk off the way she leaned into him.

  If he did anything to escalate things between them, it would complicate everything. He already knew it wouldn’t be a cool and distanced pairing like angels had. It would be a rush—heady, deep and indulgent. The mere possibility of it swept him up and engaged his mind on every level, leaving him barely able to hold to coherent, logical thought.

  He fought to bury his emotions. There were so many of them.

  His guilt was an anchor, and he clung to it. He’d given Zara so little of the truth, and she deserved more than that from him. He hadn’t technically lied to her, but that didn’t make it any better.

  There was too little he could tell her without revealing his own nature or the existence of angels. The High Court may not have laid out concrete rules for him to follow during his stint as a mortal, but he didn’t need to be told that was off limits. Telling a mortal about magic’s connection to religion was close enough to a spiritual truth to bend the rules.

  Zara mumbled into his shoulder, the words so low and muffled by proximity to his arm that he couldn’t hear her.

  “What was that?”

  She rolled her face up toward his. “You smell nice. Nice and safe.” Her eyes opened, lazy and slow. The vast pools of blue found his. “Are we safe here for the night?”

  His heart melted at the look of vulnerability on her face—so open and unguarded compared to when she was fully awake. Her lips were full and soft, inches from his own. He itched at the urge to kiss her.

  No. I can’t take advantage of her, not after what she’s gone through tonight. Maybe never.

  “We’re safe,” he said, then he accepted her embrace as she pulled him closer. He set his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes, enjoying the mutual comfort they shared.

  These embraces weren’t something angels ever did. They could become addicting.

  As he held her, Zara’s breath became more regular and deeper. Before he could over-think it, he laid her back onto the bed, resting her head on a pillow and draping a blanket over her.

  Her face was calm and serene in sleep, the picture of innocence. He worried about how the revelations of the night would disturb that innocence. There would be more of that to come.

  She healed me.

  The thought filled him with wonder. She had the powers of a Beacon of Light, but that shouldn’t have been possible. There were no Beacons anymore. And her aura was all wrong.

  I need to find Draconel.

  With a final look at the sleeping woman, he set off into the night.

  Chapter 6

  Alex growled, kicking an empty beer can sitting upside down on the sidewalk. It sailed away from him in a clean arc before the wind grabbed it and pulled it into the street.

  He’d been wandering around for over an hour, looking for Draconel. Stuck in a mortal body, he had no means of contacting the archangel directly or finding out where he was, so he was left waiting for him to make contact.

  That was bad enough, but Alex was already pissed off at Draconel for his abandonment during the altercation earlier. He’d promised to keep an eye on them and help protect Zara from the Dark mages, yet he was nowhere to be found, leaving them to fend for themselves.

  Alex had been so close to the sweet release of death and the return to his angelic form and all the powers it gave him. It had been a disappointment to wake up and discover the mortal body still weighing him down, although Zara’s presence had mitigated that.

  Whether the Court would have ruled him to have thrown himself in harm’s way was another matter.

  His feet dragged on the ground. It had been a long day for Alex. No longer indefatigable, he was nearly as drained as Zara, but he couldn’t afford to sleep, not when he needed Draconel’s help to decide on a proper strategy.

  Maybe he got caught by the rest of the Council and reprimanded. It wouldn’t be a huge surprise. He’s flaunting the authority of the rest of his peers by involving himself so personally with Zara and me.

  Despite not completing his objective for the night, Alex considered going back to the hotel. The open bed beside Zara had called to him, a big part of him yearning to lie next to her and experience more of the addicting closeness.

  Ten more minutes. Then I’m going back.

  He walked around the most touristy part of Manhattan. Zara hadn’t been able to hide in the most deserted parts of the city, so he brought them to the most populated. Even at this late hour, there were handfuls of people walking the streets. He felt safer with other humans around. It was less likely Dark mages would try something where there were too many witnesses to take care of, and they weren’t liable to find them in amongst the crowds.

  “You should be careful wandering the night, Alexandriel. You don’t have your angelic strengths to fall back on anymore.”

  The voice came from an alley, and before Alex could even turn, the archangel was at his side, strolling as though he hadn’t a care in the world.

  “I apologize for not assisting earlier,” Draconel said.

  His apology cut through Alex’s accusations before they could even form. The harshest words stewing in his mind for the past hour faded away.

  “Where the hell were you?” Alex said. “That was exactly the type of encounter you were supposed to prevent.”

  The archangel raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t even know it was happening, Alexandriel. Heaven can sense when Guardians use the Light, but human mages are outside that scrutiny. I am an archangel. You can’t expect me to spend every hour following you and the human around. I sensed something off, but not what. It wasn’t until I returned to her apartment to find Dark mag
es waiting that I went looking. When I found the scene of the attack I read the scents of magic, and reconstructed what happened.”

  There wasn’t much Alex could say to that. He still wanted to complain. “I was nearly killed. I wish I were so I could shed this useless body. Then I could protect Zara properly.”

  Draconel laughed at that. “Does she really need protecting? The way I read it, she protected you.”

  Alex flushed. “It shouldn’t have come to that.”

  “Really, Alexandriel. I think the Court may have a point. You would have stepped in despite the woman not needing any help, just because you’ve appointed yourself her Guardian angel, is that right?”

  Alex refused to answer. He wouldn’t change his mind. He knew he was right in this.

  Draconel sighed. “Very well, let’s move on. It appears as though our assumptions were correct. The Darkness wants her for some reason. Maybe they are just afraid of a new Beacon leading the Light, but it’s odd they don’t just try to kill her instead if that’s the case.”

  The problem had been worrying Alex too. There was something they were missing. “She’s extremely powerful, Draconel. I’m not sure how much you could read, but she took out at least six Dark mages and then also healed me from the brink of death. She’s a Beacon of Light. She has to be.”

  “They were all slaughtered, Alexandriel,” Draconel reminded him, as if he’d forgotten.

  “And her aura is messed up. Unless that’s just how a Beacon’s aura looks when she’s been raised by a normal mortal instead of a Light mage.” Alex fell silent. As far as he knew, there weren’t any angels who studied the mortal magic—it was just a byproduct of the Light, a weaker version of an angel’s powers. There were too many possible explanations, but all of them had holes.

  The archangel frowned. “I should test her. It’s the easiest way to verify we’re on the right path. Either she’s a Beacon who escaped the massacre, or she’s something else entirely. Either way, I need to see her for myself and find out how powerful she is.”

  Alex didn’t like it. Zara was his ward. Draconel was right about one thing—he’d appointed himself her protector. Allowing another angel to get involved with her made his hackles rise.

  The reaction made little sense. All angels were on the same side of the big fight. But as evidenced by the High Court’s opinions, that didn’t mean there was no room for disagreement about the best way to serve the Light.

  His gut reaction didn’t offer any logical argument he could use to deny Draconel access to Zara. If he put up a fight, the archangel would just accuse him of mortal emotions clouding his decision-making. Unless he could pretend to be protecting Draconel’s own interests.

  “Won’t this level of involvement get you in trouble with the rest of the Council? They were upset enough with my original involvement with Zara.”

  Draconel shot him a piercing look as if he knew exactly what Alex was trying to do. “I’ve been doing this longer than you have and been hiding it much more successfully. I know how to cover my tracks from other angels, a lesson you would have done well to learn before you got yourself into this mess.”

  The revelation came as a blow. “You’ve been involving yourself in mortal affairs?”

  It ran directly counter to the official stance of the Council, of which Draconel was a part.

  Alex frowned as thoughts fell together in a chain. “If you’re against the Council’s anti-interventionist policy, why don’t you convince the other archangels to loosen the restrictions?”

  Draconel dismissed Alex’s concerns with a cutting motion. “I’m just one of ten on the Council. I only have so much sway against the likes of Metatron and Michael. No, I’ll concentrate my efforts where they’ll deliver results, on Earth.”

  With new eyes, Alex appraised the other angel. He’d made an even better ally in Draconel than he’d originally realized.

  Light and Darkness swirled together, battling, driving each other back as they strove for dominance. It was a strangely beautiful but deadly dance.

  With a burst of soundless thunder, the Darkness flared and eradicated the Light, plunging everything into the deepest black.

  Zara awoke, heart beating loudly in her chest. She reached into the darkness of the room, the blackness an extension of her dream.

  Black mages!

  “No!”

  She fought to control her breath, trying to find the spot inside her mind the magic came from, panic making it hard to breathe.

  Wait.

  The dark was deep, but it wasn’t complete. Zara stilled as she let her eyes focus. There was a small amount of light across the room, peeking around the heavy curtains she vaguely remembered covering the windows. She got up and stumbled across the room, yanking the curtains open.

  Streetlight poured into the room, bright to her unaccustomed eyes. It was still deep night outside, but this part of Manhattan was brightly lit and there were people walking on the streets below.

  “It was just a dream.” She spoke out loud to reassure herself there wasn’t anything wrong. She wasn’t used to sleeping in such a dark room. After her brushes with Darkness, the light was even more comforting than usual.

  Only then, standing next to the window and looking at the room, did she notice Alex’s absence. The bed was only disturbed where she’d been—he’d never even lain down.

  Suddenly lonely, Zara rubbed her arms, wishing Alex was there. He’d given her so much comfort. Something about him was a safe harbor and made her feel protected.

  Where did he go?

  No matter what weighty matters tugged at her mind, she had to take care of the basics first, so she used the bathroom. It seemed such a mundane activity after everything that happened, but biology couldn’t be denied. She sat on the toilet and examined her hands. Light had burst out of those hands a few hours ago.

  A strange, wondering grin crept onto her face. It felt wrong—she had nothing to smile about.

  Still, her inner child, so neglected and retired too early, was jumping around in excitement.

  “I can do magic.” It was a simple statement, but it meant so much. “I can do magic.”

  She didn’t even know what it meant. Not really. Alex had given her the most basic of primers before she passed out. There were a bunch of abilities, he’d said. Calling Light and healing were two of those. Were those the only ones she could do? Were there others?

  Even if that’s all she was capable of, it was incredible. The world was a brand-new place now.

  As quickly as the giddy mood took her, it went away.

  She could do magic, but there were all sorts of men after her and they could do magic too. They were beyond dangerous. And she’d killed some of them.

  Zara looked no different in the mirror. Her eyes were tired and her hair was a mess, her makeup smudged, but it was still her. She didn’t feel like a killer.

  Finishing up in the bathroom, she sat on the bed again. There wasn’t much else for her to do. She considered turning on the television and distracting herself from her somber thoughts, but sinking into mindless programming in the middle of the night wasn’t appealing. Not in this new reality of hers.

  The clock blinked red on the nightstand, reading three in the morning—not a time to be awake.

  Why didn’t I see the light from the clock when I woke up from the dream?

  For that matter, there were a number of glowing LEDs in the room. It shouldn’t have looked as pitch black as it had.

  Just a holdover from the dream.

  She wanted to go find Alex, but without any idea of where he’d gone, she would do more harm than if she just stayed put. She didn’t even know if he’d left a room key for her to be able to get back in if she left.

  With nothing else to do, she resorted to looking at her hands again. They kept surprising her, as if they’d been holding out on her for all of her life, hiding secrets and abilities.

  The only times she’d been able to call the Light had been when h
er life had been threatened. It was more instinctual than anything else. Could she call it on command?

  Her efforts earlier in the night had drained her. The nap had helped, but fatigue still dragged at her eyelids.

  Zara reached for the spot inside her she now thought of as the magic spot. It wasn’t as easy to find as it had been earlier, when it had been primed and pumping with energy, pulling at her as if it were as eager to be used as she was to use it.

  Without danger to call her to the right mental state, she flailed around, trying to mimic the mental pull she’d instinctively used under duress. She found what felt like the right spot and pushed, but nothing happened. Pushing harder, a glimmer appeared around the edges of her hand, but when she brought it closer to her face, it disappeared. Was it ever really there?

  Another wave of exhaustion swamped her, and unable to sit up any longer, she slipped onto her back again. Her eyelids felt so heavy.

  Not going to fall asleep. Not until Alex gets back. Just need to rest my eyes.

  A creak at the door startled her. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes. The clock read four o’clock.

  The door swung open and Alex entered. Relief coursed through her at the sight, but it rapidly changed to fear as another man walked in behind him.

  Zara jumped to her feet, backing away, frantically reaching inside herself and hunting for the Light.

  Alex raised his hand toward her. “Zara, it’s okay. This is the friend I was telling you about. I’d like you to meet Drake.”

  Her face flushed. Of course this man wasn’t a threat. Alex had let him in and didn’t appear to be worried.

  “Hi,” Zara said sheepishly. “Sorry about that. I’m jumpy these days.”

  Drake leaned against the wall. “I don’t blame you, considering what Alex has told me.”

  His voice was the most breathtakingly gorgeous thing she had ever heard. A lilt in it took her breath away. The accent was impossible to place. American, but with hints of something else in it. She was filled with a burning desire to hear him sing.

  “Drake knows everything,” Alex said, “so you don’t have to watch what you say around him.”